Praying Step Nine As We Seek To Make Amends In Our Relationships

 So here we are one more time praying about relationships.  Today we are doing so through the lens of Step Nine of Alcoholics Anonymous and God’s Word.

Step Nine: We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

In His famous Sermon on the Mount Jesus taught that being at peace in our relationships is so important that if we are trying to worship God and know we have a problem with someone, we should go and sort out that problem first and then come back to the place of worship.  Remember these words:

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.  Matthew 5:23-24

And there is a great blessing attached to our working for peace.

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.  Romans 12:18, Matthew 5:9

When we make amends under the guidance of our loving God, everyone is blessed.  Confessing our wrong to someone means they no longer have to carry around the lingering excess baggage of the event.  Resentments begin to disappear and we both experience more freedom. The more we put this principle into practice the more our self-centeredness is replaced by a compassionate awareness of other people.  Where we were callous and uncaring, we now find ourselves becoming more understanding and flexible.  Serenity grows as we take these steps to right wrongs and make restitution where necessary.

So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall. So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. Romans 14:13, 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Heavenly Father, Thank you for your unending love and forgiveness.  Thank you for Jesus who died on the cross for my sins so that we could be reconciled to You.  We ask for wisdom and courage to humbly approach family members, friends, colleagues – anyone You bring to mind with whom we are currently estranged.  Help us to do whatever is next to make amends to them with a heart and mind that honours you. 

Give us eyes to see each circumstance as You do, rather than with the flawed perspective of our own memories.  We ask for humility to take responsibility for our part in the events.  Where necessary, we graciously offer forgiveness as we live in gratitude of the forgiveness we have received from you.  Help us to remember that we are dealing with the log in our own eye as compared to a splinter in the other person’s eye.

You know where each person is at in their healing journey with You.  We ask You to give us wisdom in every part of this process.  We know timing is an essential part of all this and we want to make amends when the first opportunity presents itself.  But You also know when doing this work would do more harm than good.  Give us patience and discernment as we listen to the direction of Your Spirit to know where actions should be taken today and where we should approach someone at a better time.  Where taking action to make amends has been met with resistance we pray for grace to wait and continue to pray, trusting that You will make all things right in the right time and way.

Help us to be teachable and humble in all of this.  Help us to not simply do what’s best for ourselves, but to be wise and considerate of others.  Thank you for guiding us to the pathway of peace and teaching us how to live in peace with others.  Amen