Praying With Step Eight As We Inventory Our Relationships

We continue our journey through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, though we know these spiritual principles are foundational for all humans as they reflect on their behaviour and their relationship with God and others. 

Step Eight, which is where we have landed today is one of those challenging ones.  It tell us to:  “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

Now I suppose the easiest part of this step is the first part – making a list of all person we had harmed – though it has its own challenges because we get blocked out from seeing our own need for responsibility taking as we remember the pain connected to the events.  We so easily can identify and remember – forever – ways people have hurt and harmed us.  But, it’s so much more difficult to realize that either in anger or fear or just indifference, we have hurt and harmed others by our actions and inaction.

Jesus said:  Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. John 13:34, Luke 6:36-3

I don’t have to hear too many of those words from Jesus to realize how far short I fall.  I don’t sacrificially love others as Jesus did and serve them when they should have been recognizing my needs and doing something to help me.  I certainly find it difficult to forgive others who are seeking forgiveness and reconciliation let alone those that are just wanting to be rude and ugly and demeaning towards me.  And yet, there is Jesus hanging on the cross with those around Him that He’s dying for praying:

“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”  Luke 23:34

His death is described this way by another Bible writer:

God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.  Romans 5:8, 10

To truly become willing to make amends we have to see God in the middle of each painful and fearful circumstance or memory, and choose with God’s help to face it rather than run from it.  We have to get connected to the God who knows, who cares, who heals, and who makes something good out of even the most traumatic events.  We need to first receive healing and comfort from God or we’ll never be secure enough to forgive others who have harmed us, and acknowledge our own failure to act in a loving way.

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.  But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.   1 John 4:7-8

Heavenly Father, Thank you for creating us to live in relationship with You and others.  Thank you for Jesus, whose death on the cross for our sins made loving relationships with You and others possible.  Your word says there is no fear in love, and we believe Your perfect love will cast out all our fear and help us become willing to make amends to those people we have hurt.

Today and ongoing we desire to do an honest inventory of our relationships and, where we’ve been wrong, we ask for your help to acknowledge our part in the situation.  So, Holy Spirit we quiet our hearts in Your love and ask You to sort out what’s going on in us – things that are disquieting to us today about strains in any of our relationships and also to show us where we’ve pushed away memories for so long that we are not even aware today of ways things that have brought distance or a breakdown of a relationship. Give us the courage to admit when where we’ve been wrong and help us to become willing to make amends to anyone we have hurt. 

We want to live reconciled to a loving relationship with You and then with others.  This is Your heart for us.  Help us to walk out these verses in our lives and relationships today.

Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. John 13:34, Luke 6:36-3