Principles Before Personalities

“Principles before personalities” is one of those sayings we hear at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. We often repeat these words together but what do these words actually mean?

In the Bible we read:  Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.  If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Philippians 2:3-4, Galatians 6:2-3

Some of the principles we read about and discover through our step work include: admitting we’re powerless; owning our part in any situation; surrendering to God's will; being humble and patience; maintaining respect for all.  These are important spiritual principles that are a lot easier to talk about than to put into practice, particularly with others who are "works in progress" like ourselves.

Personalities vary greatly.  Some personality types fit well with the person we are and are easy for us to get along with, others provide more of a challenge.  We encounter people from all walks of life with different values and beliefs.  There are also those who are struggling and continue to exhibit toxic behaviours like gossip, blaming, being a control freak, playing the victim.  How then do we practice putting “principles before personalities”?

Here are some ways God teaches us:  Bless those who curse you.  Pray for those who hurt you.  We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ.  Luke 6:28, Ephesians 4:15

As we faithfully practice putting “principles before personalities,” God will strengthen us with all the endurance and patience we need.

Prayer:  Loving God, Only by Your work in and through us can we truly put “principles before personalities.”  Help us to maintain responsibility for our own thoughts and actions as well as living with others person in a "let go and let God" way.  We welcome You to fill us with peace and show us how to speak and act with respect, even when we disagree with another.  Strengthen us with all the endurance and patience we need.  Amen