DENIAL - Don't Even Know I Am Lying

 DON’T EVEN KNOW I AM LYING

If you’ve been around recovery circles much then you will not have been able to avoid hearing lots about denial.  It’s often used as an anacronym for the slogan “Don’t even know I am lying.”

For many people, not just those recovering from addictions, when facing problems we can easily try to live as though they don’t exist.  DENIAL.    Dealing with anger, shame, and hurtful relationships can make us vulnerable and have us looking for excuses for our own attitudes and behaviours in our circumstances or in the words or behaviours of others.  DENIAL

The Bible has a pretty good description of what’s going on in us that gets us falling into denial.

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. 

Jeremiah 17:9-10a

Most people are accustomed to minimizing issues and find it difficult to be vulnerable and honest in admitting what’s truly going on to themselves let alone to others.   We experience frustration or failure and the next thing we know there are angry reactions and heated arguments or a storming away.  These reactions all indicate that denial is still fueling our thinking.  We make excuses for our behaviour, hoping the reasons we tell ourselves will be enough to avoid having to take inconvenient or unpleasant action.

Today is another opportunity to deepen our awareness of how denial continues to afflict us and to invite God to bring about positive change.  A simple inventory might include questions like:  What denial techniques do I use to maintain the lie that I don’t have a problem?  In what way do I allow God to search me and name any thoughts, motives, or behaviours that are offensive to Him?  What do I do with what God reveals?  What action do I need to take so I can live in the freedom that God promises?

And so we pray to have God’s perspective on what is really going on as we say:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. 

Psalm 139:23-24

Heavenly Father, we confess that our hearts are deceitful.  Forgive us for the times we have sought to escape responsibility for our actions through denial.  Fill us with the courage and strength we need to do what is necessary to live honestly and deal with what is true.  Amen