TRYING TO COPE WITH LONELINESS

We spoke the other day about loneliness – that sense of being alone and isolated, not being connected, not feeling understood or cared for.

Today we want to mention some ways we seek to cover up our loneliness – maybe even unconsciously.

1.  Many people try to hide their loneliness and seek to find companionship in casual sexual relationships.  All the sexual contact in the world cannot fill an empty, lonely heart because we long for relationship in commitment.  Our hearts yearn to be cared for and to be understood.  Nothing else truly satisfies. 

2. Loneliness can impact our finances – Often when we are lonely, we believe that purchasing certain items will give us an emotional lift.  We buy things we don’t need. We spend money we don’t have.  The brief pleasure of the items purchased fades into an even deeper level of meaninglessness when the bill arrives.  Tools and toys were not designed to meet the needs of our hearts. 

3. Loneliness can damage our self-esteem – We doubt our worth to God and others. Some of us have even allowed our negative sense of worth to lead us into bondage to others. Lonely people often try to please others so they will be accepted.  They may even allow others to abuse them just because they want to be in a relationship.

Here’s God’s heart for us:

I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God’s great mystery. Colossians 2:2-3

Loving God, we long to be woven into that tapestry of love and feel in touch with others but You  know that’s not our experience at this moment and it is deeply painful.

Help us God to first of all admit any of the coping mechanisms we’ve mentioned that we are currently using to try to hide from our loneliness.  Give us strength to acknowledge that they aren’t working and that we are powerless to fix our loneliness on our own. 

Bring us comfort and hope, we pray.  Help us to find a new way forward, trusting that You know how to weave us into that tapestry of love You spoke of.  Amen

Well, to leave coping mechanisms behind we really need something better.  We’ll speak about that tomorrow.