Safe Boundaries

It is God’s heart for us that we live with dignity, with our heads held high, and in mutually respectful relationships. 

But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.

Psalm 3:3

That doesn’t always happen, as we know too many sad stories of destructive relationships. Family breakdown, abuse, bullying, and discrimination are just some stress points in destructive relationships.

We need to learn how to establish safe boundaries even while we pray for healing and restoration wherever possible. God’s Word emphasizes that as well.

A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.

Proverbs 25:28

Boundaries help us live respectfully and safely in our relationships.  When we define and uphold personal boundaries they contribute to our peace of mind.  They eliminate resentful feelings which form when we feel compelled to do things that we do not want to do and which do not contribute to our well-being.   

How do we set healthy limits and separate ourselves from harmful events?  We do whatever it takes to honour God in each situation. 

Following are some simple day-to-day actions we can take that will help us establish healthy boundaries with others:

·      We name behaviours that are safe and unsafe for us, so our expectations are known to others.

·      When words become harsh, we step away until emotions calm down.

·      We communicate with others in a loving and respectful way and ask for the same in return. 

·      We refuse to gossip and slander no matter how difficult the situation is.

Loving God, We’re so grateful that You are aware of all the events of our lives.  When we come into relationship with You through Jesus, You help us heal and rebuild safe and healthy boundaries that lead to better and mutually uplifting relationships. 

Our desire is to live in the safety of Your love.  We are so thankful that nothing can separate us from Your love, not even those wounding words and actions that caused me pain.

Give us the desire, the courage, and the strength to follow Your principles in all our affairs.  Give us the wisdom we need to establish healthy boundaries in all our relationships. 

We also ask for healing for those wounds in our past that caused our boundaries to be broken down.  Open our hearts to receive Your love so that we also can forgive and love others as You have forgiven and loved us. Amen

There’s so much more to be said about making sure we find safety in relationships.  If you are experiencing threat and abuse, seek help sooner rather than later.  Ask God to help you make the right connections and take the best steps.