Dealing With Denial (2)

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives.  (Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT)

Denial keeps us in slavery because we are lying to ourselves.  We also lie to others in an attempt to cover up even though our addictive behaviour is glaringly evident.  As we become slaves to our addiction, we lose the right to choose any other way of life.  It is only when we break the cycle of denial, when we become brutally honest with ourselves about our bondage, that there is any chance for real freedom.

Denial comes in many forms. How can we identify denial in ourselves or in someone we love?

1. Avoidance: When in denial one either withdraws from others to avoid talking about addiction or tries to manipulate the conversation to talk about “anything but my real problems.”

2. Arguing:  Addicts easily get into arguments about their addictive behaviour and somehow think that strenuously denying it will remove the problem.

3.  Complete Denial: Addicts refuse to admit they have a problem. They believe others have misinterpreted their situation.

4.  Minimizing: The addict will minimize how much or how often they use their substance of choice or how bad the problem actually is. They are unable to see that using is destroying their relationships, work prospects, and other aspects of their lives.  They may admit they have a problem and even attempt change by their own efforts, but, they cannot admit they really do need help. 

5.  Rationalizing: Addicts make excuses for their behaviour hoping that their reasons will be enough for them to avoid taking any action.  “I can do what I want because I’m not hurting anyone except myself.”

6.  Blaming: Addicts try to shift responsibility for their own behaviour to the behaviour of others.

7.  Comparing:  Addicts attempt to show that because someone else’s problem is greater than their own they don’t have a serious problem.

8.  Bargaining:  Addicts often make deals with themselves or others, “I’ll just have one.  I’ll stop tomorrow.  I just need a bit to get through today.”

9.  Manipulating:  Addicts pretend to take positive steps, hoping others will leave them alone. Addicts may admit they have a problem but do nothing, expecting others to solve their problem.

Truth leads to freedom.  Deceit and denial lead to bondage and death.  God encourages us to fearlessly admit truth today.  Let’s live in the life and freedom God offers by doing life in God’s way today.

©2015 Partners in Hope