Twelve Steps Of A.a. Step Nine Healing Broken Relationships (1)
Tuesday November 24, 2015
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. (John 15:9-10 NIV)
Relationships matter. While on earth, Jesus demonstrated how to live in a loving relationship with His Father as He consulted with Him about everything He did. The foundation for our life as believers in recovery is having a loving relationship with God, just as Jesus did, and consulting with Him about everything we do. When we experience the love and peace that this intimate relationship brings, the desire for our earthly relationships to be renewed and restored will be stirred within us. At first glance, restoration of these relationships may seem impossible. However, we are coming to know and experience that, with God, all things are possible.
Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2:1-4 NLT)
With God’s help, we can choose to seek restoration of any relationship that is in need of healing. This process may be undertaken as follows:
ADMIT THAT WHAT I NEED MUST FIRST COME FROM GOD: Our relationships often go wrong when we have unrealistic expectations of others. Just what do people have a right to expect from each other, anyway? In 12-Step programs of recovery we learn to accept ourselves as people who are highly valued by God, in light of the fact that He gave His only son Jesus to die on the cross, in our place, to pay the price of our sin. When we receive Jesus into our lives and become spiritual children of a loving God, we become people who belong. We believe that God in His great love for us wants us to feel secure, accepted, cared for, and appreciated. Our security, value and peace must come from our relationship with God and His word concerning us. However, many people in recovery bypass this primary relationship and end up demanding security, acceptance, love, and appreciation from others. Haven’t we all heard, “I have a right to be ….” Many things go wrong in relationships when we approach others with "rights" and "expectations". No one owes us anything, and what they may give us, or refuse to give us, does not change the God given value and security that is ours as beloved children of God. We are cared for by His comforting and sustaining Spirit each moment of our day. Today, let’s enjoy our relationship with God and spend time in His presence getting to know Him better.
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