Comparing our lives with those of others will make us vulnerable to relapse especially when we are encountering accusation and condemnation.
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12 NIV)
When we don’t feel good about ourselves, we often compare ourselves with others to counter the shame we are feeling. We pay attention to what others are doing; project what we think they expect of us; determine whether they are noticing and appreciating, or not noticing. We define what we think they are truly saying, and the tone in which it is said. How confusing our thoughts become! Instead of God’s standards we measure others by our own flawed worldly standards. We begin to evaluate, accuse and even condemn others based on our own unsound thinking. This enables us to quickly get into the “victim mode” and, from there, how easy it is to stumble into relapse.
I am warning you ahead of time, dear friends. Be on guard so that you will not be carried away by the errors of these wicked people and lose your own secure footing. Rather, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All glory to him, both now and forever! (2 Peter 3:17-18 NLT)
We also need to guard ourselves against thoughts that accuse and condemn others. As soon as we begin to think them, we need to do a self-check and find out what’s wrong in our own hearts. If we observe negative traits in others, we should pray for them and bless them and leave their negativity with them, rather than allowing their problems to become our problems. We also need to be careful of a critical spirit and not point out other people’s failures or criticize their faults. Jesus gave us some good advice on this type of behaviour.
How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. (Matthew 7:4-5 NLT)
We need to be forgiving towards others and help them when we see they are troubled. Accusation and condemnation will not glorify Christ. Carrying one another’s burdens will. Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2 NIV)
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