The Grudges We Carry
Monday February 22, 2016
Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. (Romans 12:17 NKJV)
When someone has treated us badly, taken something away from us that is rightfully ours, or offended us in some way, we feel hurt by their actions. We desire restitution from the person who caused the hurt, and want them to make amends. If, for whatever reason, amends are not made for sustained hurts, we may carry a grudge against the offender.
If we start carrying grudges in childhood, we will likely grow a bitter spirit as we get older. Some of us hold the grief of unresolved offenses inside us for years and try to relieve the pain and hopelessness we feel with addictive substances or co-dependent relationships. We cause ourselves even more grief by not dealing with these situations before God.
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15 NIV)
Forgiveness is the only way to stop the pain of a buried grudge. For some of us who have been victimized, forgiveness seems unthinkable. We are in pain and forgiveness rips at our sense of justice. We want the offender to pay; to suffer in return for the suffering they have inflicted. But, until we forgive the offender, he or she will continue to hurt us because we are tied to this person, and to the past event, by our unwillingness to forgive.
The Bible gives us the following advice: Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, “I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,” says the Lord. Instead, do what the Scriptures say: “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you.” Don’t let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good. (Romans 12:18-21 NLT)
Dear God, please help us to forgive others as you have forgiven us.
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