Healing Co-dependency (1)
Monday July 25, 2016
Co-dependency is one form of relationship addiction that touches many lives. By definition, co-dependency means allowing a relationship with another human being to override the importance of one’s own well-being. The co-dependent person bases their identity and personal value on their ability to please others rather than on their identity in Christ.
Jesus said: So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. (John 13:34 NLT)
God created each of us with unique qualities for the purpose of completing the work He has prepared in advance for us to do. We are instructed to love our neighbour as ourselves but only God can help us sort out what real compassion looks like. Sometimes we think we are caring when we are actually behaving in a manner that is smothering and unhealthy.
Some characteristics of codependency include these: 1. lack of objectivity – avoiding the natural urge to meet our own needs or plans by giving priority to those of others so that we feel needed and loved. 2. a warped sense of responsibility – We play the role of saviour or accuser, rescuing to earn a sense of value, or blaming when feeling threatened. 3. controlled/controlling – We act almost like puppets, doing whatever others want us to do, or we try to control our own lives so we can avoid failure. 4. guilt and shame - When we fail we experience intense pangs of guilt or shame and are driven to do better or do more. 5. loneliness - We try hard to please others so they will love us but never experience security and settledness in these relationships.
Instead, be kind to each other, tender hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (Ephesians 4:32, 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)
Today, let’s ask God to sort our hearts and teach us how to get rid of co-dependency without sacrificing compassion.
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