Patience To Overcome Unrealistic Expectations
Saturday April 8, 2017
Many of us carry unrealistic expectations into our life in recovery. Unmet expectations can lead to stinking thinking and dissatisfaction. We expect life to be perfect and pain free and when that doesn’t happen it becomes an excuse to relapse back into addiction. God wants to show us a better way – the way of patience and endurance that leads to joy.
We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy. (Colossians 1:11 NLT)
In addiction, the “reward/pleasure” center of our brain that expects instant gratification was over-stimulated. We lived a long time on impulse and instinct rather than rational thought. Rather than having empathy for others, and living responsible caring lives, we grew accustomed to living by feelings and impulses. Only God can heal us. Our part in this healing is to seek God’s help and wait patiently for His will to be revealed, before we act.
God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12 NLT)
Another unrealistic expectation we often bring to our relationships in recovery is that we expect others to trust us immediately, even though for years they’ve repeatedly been hurt by us. When they struggle to have faith in us, as soon as we think we deserve it, we get upset and angry. Just as there are no instant cures for the character defects we’ve developed, there is a need for tolerance as others find healing and, within safe boundaries, consent to restoring their relationship with us.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. (Psalm 37:5-6 NLT)
Building a successful life in recovery requires a great deal of time and effort. There are no instant changes or results.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, help me to wait patiently for your healing work in me to take effect. Help me also to exhibit patience and grace as I wait for relationships to be restored in a way that is safe for everyone. Amen
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