Identifying Co-dependency

Tuesday May 1, 2018

Co-dependency is a form of relationship addiction that touches many lives. Co-dependency is described as allowing a relationship with another human being to dominate the importance of one’s own well-being.  The co-dependent person bases their identity and personal value on their ability to please others rather than on their identity in Christ. 



Jesus said: So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. (John 13:34 NLT)


God created each of us with unique qualities that equip us to fulfill His good plan and purpose for our lives.  He instructs us to love our neighbour as ourselves but only God can help us sort what love and compassion towards others really looks like.  Sometimes we think we are caring when we are actually behaving in a manner that is unhealthy for us, and for the other person.

Some characteristics of codependency include these:  
1. a warped sense of responsibility – We play the role of saviour or accuser, rescuing to earn a sense of value, or blaming when we feel threatened.  
2. controlled/controlling – We act like string-puppets, doing whatever others want us to do or we detach and attempt to control our own lives, so we can avoid failure.  3. loneliness - We try hard to please others, so they will love and care for us but never experience the desired security of a loving relationship.




Instead, be kind to each other, tender hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (Ephesians 4:32, 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)




Prayer:  Heavenly Father, help me to sort my heart and get rid of every fear that feeds co-dependency.  Help me to trust in Your unfailing love for me.  Teach me how to love and have compassion on others without expectations.  Teach me to be more like You. Amen

©2018 Partners in Hope  
More information on this and other related topics @ http://www.partnersinhope.ca/life-with-god-in-recovery-resources/

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