Principles Before Personalities


“Principles before personalities” is one of those sayings we hear at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. We often repeat these words together but what do these words actually mean?



Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.  If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. (Philippians 2:3-4, Galatians 6:2-3 NLT)

Some of the principles we read about and discover through our step work include: admitting we’re powerless; owning our part in any situation; surrendering to God's will; being humble and patient; maintaining respect for all.  These are important spiritual principles that are a lot easier to talk about than to put into practice, particularly with others who are "works in progress" like ourselves.


Personalities vary greatly.  Some personality types fit well with the person we are and are easy for us to get along with, others provide more of a challenge.  We encounter people from all walks of life with different values and beliefs.  There are also those who are struggling and continue to exhibit toxic behaviours like gossip, blaming, being a control freak, playing the victim.  How then do we practice putting “principles before personalities”?


Bless those who curse you.  Pray for those who hurt you.  We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ.  (Luke 6:28, Ephesians 4:15 NLT)

We are responsible for our own thoughts and actions.  We need to deal with our personal feelings about a person in a "let go and let God" way.  We welcome God to fill us with peace and show us how to speak and act with respect, even when we disagree with another.  We work our own program and leave others to theirs.  As we faithfully practice putting “principles before personalities,” God will strengthen us with all the endurance and patience we need.


Prayer:  Loving God, Only by Your work in and through me can I truly put “principles before personalities.”  Thank You that Your power is made perfect in my weakness.  Amen

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