We usually say an individual is “white knuckling” when they are just using willpower to stay sober. They have stopped drinking or using but have not dealt with the issues underlying their addiction. They are desperately hanging on and very much at risk of relapse because they experience life away from their substance of choice as something to be endured. They are not staying sober to benefit themselves but for other people. They feel like they are in prison rather than having a life. They muddle through one day of not using and hope for another but have a low tolerance for other people and life’s challenges. They are often filled with anger and resentment.
This is not the life in recovery that God wants for us. He gives us insight into what we need to be truly well, strength for the journey as we tackle complex issues, and comfort and healing for all the painful things we will bump into along the way.
I am the Lord All-Powerful. So don’t depend on your own power or strength, but on my Spirit. (Zechariah 4:6 CEV)
When we begin to feel worried and anxious about our sobriety it’s time to look again to God who knows us better than we know ourselves. As we read the Bible, God will teach us those things we need to know and will help us practice His principles in all our affairs. We need to listen to others share their experience, strength and hope and perhaps learn from them. God will help us identify the source of our pain and through Jesus, healing and forgiveness is available to us.
We can’t “fight our demons” on our own but our all-powerful God will give us the power to do so when we ask for it.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, When I am feeling frustration and pain, I pray for the willingness to reach out to You for strength, and healing. Help me to surrender every area where I stubbornly “white knuckle” through problem situations. Please guide me to a place of peace and stability. I put my trust in You. Help me to trust You more. Amen
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