Control

Monday February 28, 2022

Control is usually a relationship problem and is common in addiction. Control issues in a person’s life may result from traumatic or abusive life experiences. The fear of painful emotions due to change may cause a person to cling tightly to familiar circumstances, regardless of the effect on themselves or another person. Often drug addiction is rooted trying to control fears, thinking that they can be calmed by a drug of choice and life made better for a time.

There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. (1 John 4:18 MSG)

Controlling people want life to be the way they see it rather than the way it is. A person involved with a controlling person may not measure up to the standard set by the controller. Because of this they are judged and criticized for who they are or what they do. The abused person may start to feel confused, frustrated, or resentful and think they are the problem, especially when the controller throws an angry fit over something they have said or done. Manipulation is what is actually happening and if any of us fit into this category we need to deal with the underlying fears that are driving our behaviour.

You will call out to me for help. And I will answer you. You will cry out. And I will say, 'Here I am.' "Get rid of the chains you use to hold others down. Stop pointing your finger at others as if they had done something wrong. Stop saying harmful things about them. (Isaiah 58:9 NIRV)

When we are lacking in self-esteem for whatever reason, we often feel vulnerable and try to eliminate what we are feeling by managing our lives in a way that makes us feel in control. Sadly, this often includes attempting to manage others to fit into our plan. God’s way is to give our will and lives over to His care and follow His principles as outlined in the Bible and allow others to do the same.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, You know the way that I take. Please heal me and allow Your perfect love to make me secure in my trust in You for a contented heart and a purposeful life with You in recovery. Amen

Control

Audio for Control

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