Don’t Even Know I Am Lying

Too often dealing with denial is incorrectly focused on the circumstances surrounding the use of our substance of choice or other destructive habits for which we are now seeking treatment and God’s help to overcome.  Our default position when facing problems in the past was to live in denial that they existed.  It’s only natural to assume that as we face problems in our recovery, we will be prone to denial once again.  Dealing with anger, shame, and hurtful relationships can make us vulnerable to our continued use of denial.

It’s so easy to blame others for problems we currently experience.  We are accustomed to minimizing our issues and find it difficult to be vulnerable and honest in admitting what’s truly going on.  In recovery we now find ourselves doing the same when faced with frustration and failure.  Angry reactions and heated arguments indicate that denial is still fueling our thinking.  We make excuses for our behaviour, hoping these reasons will be enough to avoid taking necessary action. 

Today is another opportunity to deepen our awareness of how denial continues to afflict us and to invite God to bring about positive change.  

A simple inventory might include questions like:  What denial techniques do I use to maintain the lie that I don’t have a problem?  In what way do I allow God to search me and name any thoughts, motives, or behaviours that are offensive to Him?  What do I do with what God reveals?  What action do I need to take so I can live in the freedom that God promises?

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, I confess that my heart is deceitful.  Forgive me for the times I have sought to escape responsibility for my actions through denial.  Fill me with the courage and strength I need to do what is necessary to live honestly and deal with what is true.  Amen

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