Control

Monday September 11, 2023

Control is a relationship problem which is common in addiction. Control issues in a person’s life may result from traumatic or abusive life experiences. The fear of painful emotions due to change may cause a person to cling tightly to familiar circumstances, regardless of the effect on themselves or another person. Often drug addiction is rooted in the control of fears that we think can be calmed by use of a substance. Using does seem to make life better for a time, but that time gets shorter and shorter, and chaos and turmoil return quicker and quicker.

There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. (1 John 4:18 MSG)

Controlling people want life to be the way they see it rather than the way it is. A person involved with a controlling person may not measure up to the standard set by the controller. Because of this they are judged and criticized for who they are and what they do. The abused person may start to feel confused, frustrated, or resentful and think they are the problem, especially when the controller throws an angry fit over something they have said or done. Manipulation is what is actually happening and if any of us fit into this category, we need to deal with it.

You will call out to me for help. And I will answer you. You will cry out. And I will say, 'Here I am.' "Get rid of the chains you use to hold others down. Stop pointing your finger at others as if they had done something wrong. Stop saying harmful things about them. (Isaiah 58:9 NIRV)

When we are lacking in self-esteem for whatever reason, we often feel vulnerable and try to eliminate what we are feeling by managing our lives in a way that makes us feel in control. Sadly, this often includes attempting to manage others to fit into our plan. God’s way of dealing with this type of control is to encourage us to give our will and life over to His care and then follow His principles for living without fear. With God as our Father, we will begin to feel secure in His perfect love.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, You know why I feel insecure and seek to control my life and others. Please heal me of my insecurities and allow Your perfect love to make me secure in the life that You have planned for me. Amen

More information on this and other related topics @ http://www.partnersinhope.ca/life-with-god-in-recovery-resources/

Control

Audio for Control

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